Doggie Court

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

As a result of many consumer complaints regarding the Reubflex, Reuben is taken to court by a dog claiming serious bodily injury . Reuben is forced to face a jury of his peers, Judge Benji presiding:

Judge Benji: How to do answer these charges brought before you? How do you justify the injury you've caused these many doggies?

Reuben: It was never my intent to harm anyone. I just wanted others to experience the amazing weight loss benefits I have experienced.

Judge Benji: I understand that. But how do you answer the charges of Brutus (points to the Doberman), who claims that the Reubflex resulted in the loss of his tail?

Reuben: Your honor, I have proof that Brutus is lying. (Produces a piece of paper). This is a document signed by Doctor Jones.

Judge Benji: Who is Doctor Jones?

Reuben: (glaring at Brutus) Doctor Jones is the vet who docked Brutus' tail when he was a puppy.

(Loud gasp from the courtroom)

Judge Benji: Do you mean to tell me that Brutus' tail was not cut off by the Reublex?

Reuben: No, your Honor, it certainly was not.

Judge Benji: In that case, I have no choice but to dismiss the charges.

(Applause in the courtroom)

Judge Benji: Wait! I'm not finished. Reuben, the charges may be dismissed, but the fact is that you've created an unsafe product. I have no choice but to ask you to withdraw the Reubflex from the market. In addition, I sentence you to five hours of community service for endangering the lives of other doggies.

Reuben: Yes, Your Honor.