Doggie Court

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

As a result of many consumer complaints regarding the Reubflex, Reuben is taken to court by a dog claiming serious bodily injury . Reuben is forced to face a jury of his peers, Judge Benji presiding:

Judge Benji: How to do answer these charges brought before you? How do you justify the injury you've caused these many doggies?

Reuben: It was never my intent to harm anyone. I just wanted others to experience the amazing weight loss benefits I have experienced.

Judge Benji: I understand that. But how do you answer the charges of Brutus (points to the Doberman), who claims that the Reubflex resulted in the loss of his tail?

Reuben: Your honor, I have proof that Brutus is lying. (Produces a piece of paper). This is a document signed by Doctor Jones.

Judge Benji: Who is Doctor Jones?

Reuben: (glaring at Brutus) Doctor Jones is the vet who docked Brutus' tail when he was a puppy.

(Loud gasp from the courtroom)

Judge Benji: Do you mean to tell me that Brutus' tail was not cut off by the Reublex?

Reuben: No, your Honor, it certainly was not.

Judge Benji: In that case, I have no choice but to dismiss the charges.

(Applause in the courtroom)

Judge Benji: Wait! I'm not finished. Reuben, the charges may be dismissed, but the fact is that you've created an unsafe product. I have no choice but to ask you to withdraw the Reubflex from the market. In addition, I sentence you to five hours of community service for endangering the lives of other doggies.

Reuben: Yes, Your Honor.

Merry Christmas

Reuby Christmas by Carlos and Jean Aleman

Reuben decided to spend Christmas on Fort Lauderdale beach to take a break from his hectic schedule. He wants to wish all of his fans a very happy holidays. Remember to share your rawhides with your friends and family. There is nothing like togetherness for the holidays.

Comment from Original Blog:
Robin said...
I hope Reuben's day at the beach was relaxing and enjoyable! And Merry Christmas to his people too! Reuben, we are in Rochester, NY for Christmas and we are fareeeeeeeezing here!!!!
8:41 PM

The Press Conference

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

After an uproar by consumer advocate Ralph Nader, the FDA was compelled to start an investigation into the safety of the Reubflex. As rumors began to swirl around his company, Reuben was forced to hold a press conference to answer his critics.

Let's join the press conference already in progress....

Reuben: Please, everyone! Settle down! I'll answer your questions one at a time.

Reporter: This is WOOF radio. How do you account for the poor safety record of the Reubflex?

Reuben: All I have to say is that the Reubflex underwent rigorous testing before it was put on the market. We were confident that it posed no safety hazard.

Reporter: Then why have there been numerous reports of injuries to doggies all over the country?

Reuben: Those statistics are inflated. I can assure you there have been no safety issues.

Reporter: What about the class action lawsuit brought against your company?

Reuben: My attorneys have advised me not to comment.

Reporter: I spoke to a young doggie who claims to have been maimed by the Reubflex. How do you explain that?

Reuben: If the consumer follows the directions outlined in my video (available for $14.95) there should be no reason for injury. Thank you all for coming. That is all the questions I'm going to take today.

Comment from Original Blog:
Jon said...
Where has our lovable Reuben gone? He used to be the crusader for truth & justice! When did he become a sell-out to the almiighty dollar?Please Santa...all I want for Christmas is our good ole Reuben back.
9:13 AM

Reubflex

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

After many months of struggle trying to lose the weight he had gained, Reuben decided to stop dieting and start flexing with Reubflex. Reuben, along with a team of exercise engineers, designed the Reubflex to specifically help those dogs who find it difficult losing unwanted pounds.

The machine targets the hard to work areas such as the abs and the legs. It is scientifically designed to maximize your workout with minimum work. So dogs of the world rejoice! You do not have to live with those unwanted pounds. There is help! Order the Reubflex today!

Only $9999.95 or 100 easy payments of $100.

Comment from Original Blog:
Grant said...
Ralph Nader is publishing an article on the Reubflex. He is claiming that two dogs have already died using the equipment. One fell into the engine fan and was slice and diced. The other died from gasoline exhaust fumes. He also said, the Corvair is still unsafe at any speed.
8:14 AM

UN Doggie

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

After Reuben visits the Hoohas and sees the terrible exploitation of these kind and gentle people, he decides to go before the United Nations to plead for their protection. In an empassioned speech, Reuben tells the delegates of the wonderful reception he had gotten from the Hoohas, how they had welcomed him with open arms even when they knew that he was there to take their hoo hoo plant. Reuben's words bring many of the delegates to tears. They know that they too have been guilty of exploiting the Hoohas, yet, in spite of the world's cruelty, they did not condemn. In a unanimous vote, it was decided that the Hoohas would be granted protection. When Reuben hears of the result of the UN vote, he is gratified to see that his personal troubles have been used for good.

Comment from Original Blog:
Grant said...
I vote, no confidence for Secretary-General Kofi Annan. I nominate Reuben, as the new Secretary-General.Reuben is smarted and better looking. He will protect the world better against evil dooers. He also will not give oil for food money to his own pups.
9:39 AM