Hoo-Hoo Hunting

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

Desperate to do something about his recent weight gain, Reuben takes a journey to the African plain. He goes in search of the Hoo Hoo plant, legendary for its appetite suppressing qualities. Though the actual effectiveness of the plant has yet to be proven, Reuben is willing to do anything to find a solution to his weight loss problems.

After many weeks of searching, he locates the Hooha tribe. This small, isolated tribe has been using the plant as a food source for many centuries. Only recently has the rest of the civilized world discovered the wonders of this cactus like plant. When Reuben arrives at the settlement of the Hoohas, he is shocked to find the outsiders have plundered their Hoo Hoo plant supply.

Reuben originally intended to get an abundant supply of the plant for his own consumption, but after meeting with the friendly Hoohas, he has decided to end the exploitation of these gentle people. He vows to fight for their right to retain control of the Hoo Hoo plant. In gratitude, the Hoohas declare him honorary chief for a day.

Comment from Original Blog:
Grant said...
I sure can relate to Reuben's weight problem. I am trying to lose weight myself. Ask him to share some of his Hoo Hoo plant stash with me...provided it can be mixed with brownies.
9:30 AM

Reuben Shocker

Reubey Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

Reuben was caught exiting Dog Food Palace recently by one of our photographers. Sources at the posh doggie restaurant say that he has been frequenting their establishment for the past few weeks, often ordering three or four dishes at a time. Not only that, he has taken to only eating the yummy pieces of food, which are much higher in fat and calories than the yucky pieces. His recent binges have caused his weight to skyrocket from a mere 15 pounds to a whopping 525 pounds!

After the shocking photo was taken, we approached some of Reuben's closest friends, who told us a most horrific tale. Unable to deal with the pressures of his recent successes, Reuben has gone on an eating binge. Benji Lipbalm, who recently interviewed Reuben on Inside the Doggie's Studio, says that it is not unusual for Reuben to gorge himself in a restaurant, then immediately go home and snack on bacon treats and beef sticks all night long.

Reuben gained world wide acclaim as an athlete and doggie western star, but now he is a mere shadow of the svelte doggie he used to be.

Comment from Original Blog:
Jon said...
My heart goes out to Reuben, for I too have been eating more of the yummy pieces. Perhaps he should do what so many other celebrities have done. Check into rehab, write a book, appear on Oprah, and produce his own workout DVD: "Exercise is For the Dogs!"
8:37 AM

Inside the Doggies Studio

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

Rosco: Reuben, you came from humble beginnings. So tell us, what was it like growing up in New Jersey.

Reuben: Well, Rosco, it really wasn't that bad. I had a big house with a big back yard. I could go out whenever I felt like it. I had a family who loved me and gave me lots of treats, so I can't complain.

Rosco: You won an Olympic gold in August. You beat out some tough competition from the Eastern European doggies, who were favored to win the gold. How did you feel standing on the podium while the Star Spangled Banner was playing?

Reuben: It was quite a surprise when I touched the wall and saw that I had the winning time. I was so exahusted from the effort of winning the competition that the magnitude of what I had accomplished did not hit me until after I received my medal.

Rosco: Extraordinary! And how long was it after that that you decided to pursue an acting career?

Reuben: Actually, I've always wanted to be an actor. When I was a puppy, I would watch the Air Bud movies and wanted to be just like him. I am just fortunate that my fame has allowed me to pursue my dream.

Rosco: Bowl Full of Yucky Pieces. (Wild applause by audience) What a magnificent performance. After I saw the film, I couldn't look at my doggie food the same way again. I was so affected by your most moving portrayal of Poops. How did you prepare so well for the role?

Reuben: Well, Rosco, I drew heavily from my own experiences with yucky food. There have been many times in my life when I've been left with nothing in my bowl except yucky pieces. And like Poops, I had the strength of character to eat those yucky pieces anyway. So you see, I understand the anguish the townsdoggies in the film were experiencing.

Rosco: Reuben, what is your favorite word?

Reuben: Treat.

Rosco: Your least favorite?

Reuben: Bath time.

Rosco: What is your favorite curse word?

Reuben: Poopoo.

Comments from Original Blog:
Robin said...
Can you top this???? :)Robin
8:13 AM

Jon said...
Fantastik! Reuben's brilliance transcends doggy space & time. His film career will make Benji's look like Rin Tin Tin meets Lassie while portraying Jack from Little House on the Prairie. Or something like that
8:31 AM

Bowl Full of Yucky Pieces

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

It is the days of the wild west, the times of outlaws and evil villans. But no one was prepared for this....a gang has come to town corrupting the dog food supply. They are filling otherwise yummy bags of dog food with what can only be termed as yucky pieces. The townsdoggies were desperate. That is until a new kind of hero came into town. Introducing the newest film by acclaimed director C. D. Alemani, "A Bowl Full of Yucky Pieces," starring Reuben as Poops, in his feature film debut.

Comments from Original Blog:
Jon said...
Critics agree: Poops is just the kind of hero needed for today's modern canine. He stands for truth, justice, and the doggy way. We applaud this bold film, and look forward to future films by Reuben!
8:53 AM

Grant said...
I really liked when Poops (Played by Reuben) stood up to the leader of the gang and said, "A dog really needs to know his limitations." Then the leader of the gang tried to draw on Poops and Poops blasted him, saving the townsdoggies. A classic line...from a epic film.
10:05 AM

Carlos said...
Yes, it was very moving ;-)
3:27 PM

Doggie Endorsement

Rueby Tuesday by Carlos and Jean Aleman

After Reuben's stunning victory in the Olympic Doggie Paddle competition, the demand for endorsements skyrocketed. Reuben was very careful to choose only those products that met his high standards of quality and integrity. So, when Karlo, Inc. approached him about a new cereal idea, Reuben jumped at the opportunity. He has eaten Karlo brand cereals his entire life and he knows that they make only the best products.

Those of you who have been Reuben fans for years, rejoice! You can now enjoy a cereal personally endorsed by your hero!

(Due to a minor contract dispute, Karlo's has not been authorized to use Reuben's actual image on their products. While certain issues are being resolved, Karlo's is using a facsimile.)

Comments from Original Blog:
Jon said...
I love those Reuben Flakes! They're so crunchy and full of goodness. Where can I get a case of them?(* I performed my civic duty today, and it took less than 20 minutes *)
9:40 AM

Carlos said...
The distributers are working on that ;-)
10:09 AM